Understanding Grief in Rural and Agricultural Communities
Written for Through the Woods Psychology by D. Skretting, CCC, National Farmer Mental Health Alliance
*This article discusses grief, loss of animals and livelihoods, financial stress, isolation, mental health challenges, and suicide risk in agricultural communities. Some topics may be emotionally difficult or bring up personal experiences. Please take care of yourself as you read and feel free to pause or step away whenever you need to.*
Growing up on a fourth generation cereal grain and beef production, I think that agricultural life is significantly romanticized to the general public through movies and social media. Understanding grief in rural and agricultural communities means looking beyond the loss itself and considering the culture, responsibilities, relationships, and circumstances surrounding it.
Grief can take many forms, and agricultural communities may experience several types of grief at once.
Anticipatory grief occurs when we know a loss may be coming before it happens. A farmer facing a serious animal disease outbreak, declining herd health, or the possibility of losing a family operation may begin grieving before the outcome is known.
Disenfranchised grief is grief that is not fully recognized, understood, or supported by others. The loss of livestock, a working animal, a family farm, or a way of life may be deeply painful, yet those around the grieving person may not recognize the significance of that loss. Someone might hear, “It was just a dog,” or “It was just a piece of land,” when, in reality, the loss represents years of work, family history, financial investment, and emotional connection.
Cumulative grief develops when multiple losses occur over time without sufficient opportunity to recover. A difficult calving season, the death of an animal, financial uncertainty, a family conflict, and declining health can build upon one another. Each individual event may seem manageable, but together they can become overwhelming.
Traumatic grief can follow sudden, distressing, or deeply disruptive experiences. Agricultural work can involve unexpected animal or human deaths, serious injuries, disease outbreaks, and other events that affect a person’s sense of safety and stability. Grief may also be shaped by experiences that extend across generations.
Prolonged or complicated grief describes grief that remains intense and interferes with daily functioning. In agricultural settings, the ongoing demands of the operation can make it difficult to find the time and support needed to process significant losses.
Identity-based grief involves mourning a part of ourselves or the life we expected to have. This may occur when someone can no longer farm, must sell a family operation, loses their independence, or sees a long-held dream change beyond recognition.
These categories can overlap. Losing a working dog, for example, may mean losing a beloved companion, an essential part of daily farm life, and a connection to one’s identity and independence. The grief is not simply about the animal; it may also be about everything that changes because of the loss. A bull rider may become injured and the impact of not riding can weigh heavily on them while they grieve an identity that they never considered not being able to have.
Animals still need to be fed. Crops need attention. Equipment needs repairs. Employees and family members may depend on the operation continuing. Seasonal demands, such as calving and harvest, can leave little room for rest, let alone emotional recovery. In some agricultural communities, pushing through hardship is seen as a necessary part of the job. A person may continue working or preforming while feeling numb, exhausted, irritable, or disconnected. They may tell themselves that they will deal with their feelings when things settle down. Yet there is always another task, another season, or another responsibility waiting.
Grief that goes unacknowledged does not necessarily disappear. Recognizing grief does not mean someone is unable to cope. It means recognizing that meaningful losses deserve care, even when life must continue around them.
The Role of Isolation and Loneliness
Rural life can offer strong community connections, a sense of belonging, and meaningful relationships with the land and animals. However, living in a rural area can also create barriers to emotional support.
Geographic distance may make counselling difficult to access. Limited local services, long wait times, unreliable internet, and the need to travel significant distances can all stand in the way of receiving care.
Privacy can be another concern. In small communities where people know one another, someone may worry about being recognized at a local clinic or having others learn about their personal struggles. Stigma surrounding mental health and the fear of being judged as unable to manage can make reaching out even harder.
It is also important to recognize that isolation and loneliness are not the same thing. A person can spend long hours working alone and feel content with that solitude. Another person may be surrounded by family, employees, and community members but still feel deeply alone in their grief.
The important question is not simply how much time someone spends alone, but whether they feel understood, supported, and connected.
The Physical Weight of Grief
Grief is an emotional experience, but it can also affect the body. Sleep disruption, fatigue, pain, illness, and injuries can make it harder to manage emotional distress. Agricultural workers may continue working through physical injuries or illness because the operation cannot easily stop. The same pattern can occur emotionally: a person may feel they cannot afford to slow down long enough to acknowledge what they are experiencing.
Seasonal changes in workload can further affect sleep and recovery. During particularly demanding periods, exhaustion may reduce a person’s capacity to cope with stress and loss.
“6 months after a significant loss, I couldn’t understand why my memory was so poor. I was forgetting things – things I should have easily known. I later learned that memory is one area that can be impacted by stress and loss/depression. It changed my perspective from something being wrong with me, to something external that is affecting me. My memory still isn’t amazing, but I can laugh at myself now where before I felt like I was failing and didn’t know why.” – Farmer, 33 (Anonymous).
Substance use may also intersect with grief and distress. Some people turn to alcohol or other substances as a way of managing difficult feelings, stress, or sleep problems. This deserves a compassionate response rather than judgment.
Supporting someone through grief means considering the whole person and their circumstances. Questions about sleep, pain, physical health, medication, substance use, workload, and opportunities for recovery can help build a fuller understanding of what they are carrying.
What Does Support Look Like?
Supporting someone through grief does not require having the perfect words or trying to fix the situation. Often, it begins with acknowledging the significance of the loss. Instead of minimizing an experience with comments such as “At least it was only an animal/land/…xyz” or “You have to keep going,” consider making space for the person to explain what the loss means to them.
Helpful questions might include:
- What has this loss changed for you?
- What are you finding most difficult right now?
- What did you hope things would look like, and what does the reality look like today?
- What responsibilities or roles have changed because of this experience?
- Who do you feel comfortable talking to about what you are going through?
- What would support look like for you right now?
These questions recognize that grief often involves more than sadness. It may include changes to hopes, dreams, responsibilities, independence, family roles, and a person’s understanding of their future.
Support also needs to fit the realities of agricultural life. A counselling appointment may need to accommodate seasonal demands, travel distances, and unpredictable work schedules. Telehealth may be helpful where connectivity allows, while community-based support and trusted professional relationships can provide additional pathways to care.
Culturally responsive care also means recognizing that standard assessment tools may not fully capture an individual’s experience. Measures can offer useful information, but they should be considered alongside the person’s circumstances, personal history, and own understanding of their distress.
Most importantly, support should respect the individual’s strengths without assuming that independence means they do not need help.
Making Room for Grief
There is no single right way to grieve, and there is no universal timeline for healing. Some losses are sudden; others unfold slowly. Some are openly acknowledged, while others remain difficult to explain to people outside the agricultural community. Grief may involve mourning what has already happened, what may happen in the future, or what will no longer be possible. It may involve the loss of an animal, a livelihood, a family tradition, a sense of independence, or the future someone worked hard to build.
The first step toward support may simply be finding language for the experience. Naming grief can help people understand that their reactions are not a personal failure and that the loss they are experiencing deserves recognition. We can also help by building stronger connections, reducing stigma around seeking support, improving access to culturally responsive mental health services, and recognizing the emotional realities faced by both agricultural communities and the professionals who serve them.
You do not have to wait until the work is finished, the next season has passed, or everything feels manageable to deserve support.
If grief, isolation, or emotional exhaustion is affecting your well-being, consider reaching out to a trusted person or a mental health professional who understands your circumstances. Support can begin with a conversation, even when you are not sure what to call what you are experiencing.
At Through the Woods we have several mental health providers that are trained in Agricultural Informed Therapy. You can book a free consultation here, or email at info@throughthewoods.ca or call us at 403 984 7922.