Practicing Self-Love on Valentine’s Day

I don’t know about you, but when I think about Valentine’s Day, I often think about couples, families, or children celebrating love for one another. But what about celebrating Valentine’s Day by loving ourselves?

I have always believed that self-love is crucial to showing up wholeheartedly in our everyday lives. Like myself, I don’t think self-love is practiced enough. A question that often pops into my head is: if we cannot love ourselves, how can we love others? It is often more convenient to give love to others than to ourselves. As a practitioner, I do not expect clients to always have a positive outlook on themselves—there are going to be times when you feel angry or disappointed in yourself. And that’s okay. That doesn’t mean you do not love yourself. Like any relationship, anger and disappointment can show up with our loved ones, yet we still love them.

You may have heard of the inner critic. Based on my personal experience, the inner critic can be a significant obstacle to self-love. An inner critic is that voice in your head that is harsh and judgmental toward yourself. Let’s face it—it is emotionally draining to have your inner critic constantly putting you down rather than uplifting you. The inner critic can also be very convincing. I want you to know that you can challenge your inner critic with kindness, understanding, and empathy toward yourself.

You may be wondering how to practice self-love. It may feel awkward to give yourself self-love, or you may feel that it is selfish—I often hear this from clients. I want you to know that it is not selfish. I believe the first step is recognizing your inner critic and replacing it with a more positive inner dialogue (Martin, 2023). I implement a strengths-based approach in my practice, emphasizing clients’ strengths rather than focusing on their weaknesses. It is important to celebrate successes, no matter how big or small, as this can help build self-love.

The practice of self-compassion is a journey toward discovering self-love. The inner critic often becomes louder when we are going through challenges. Self-compassion provides a gentler approach by acknowledging that we are human, that we make mistakes, and that this is okay. It is about offering yourself care and safety. Think about it this way: how would you speak to a loved one who was going through a challenging time and being hard on themselves? Most likely, you would not speak to them the way your inner critic speaks to you.

I have a task for you. On Valentine’s Day, I want you to do something for yourself—whether that is giving yourself a hug, writing an affirmation, engaging in an enjoyable activity, or purchasing something meaningful to you. Please acknowledge on this day that you deserve self-love. It is never too late to start your self-love journey, and I encourage you to start now.

Through the Woods Psychology, offers counselling for adults, children, and teens, both in person and online. If you’re curious about support, you’re welcome to visit our website or book your free consultation today to explore whether it feels like a good fit.  

You can also reach us by email at info@throughthewoods.ca or by phone at (403) 984-7922.